Believe Survivors

Here is why I will always #believesurvivors

1. False reports are extremely rare (as in 2% of all rape allegations are proven to be false; this is much less if you take into consideration the number of cases that go unreported).

2. Survivors have to overcome many hurdles before they can even get to a place where disclosure, especially public disclosure, is possible. Consider this: survivors first have to deal with internalized stigma, as in, feeling that they are weak or helpless, feeling ashamed or blaming themselves for the abuse. They may not even realize it was abuse/harm. They may not trust their memory, might have a hard time believing it even happened because it was so horrendous/traumatizing. Survivors can anticipate stigma: feeling uncertain about others’ reactions, fearing that other people will not support them; feeling that other people will expect them to leave important relationships; and fearing that others will think of them as “weak” or “stupid” for staying. Then if they do report, they face social and cultural stigma, that is, judgmental attitudes and actions. They get told that it’s a private matter and should be kept secret, that they are doing something wrong for making it public. They might get told that abuse is normal or that what they experienced wasn’t serious enough to constitute abuse. They could face violence for reporting publicly, their lives threatened. Anticipating all of this, do you really believe that someone would report falsely? The more likely consequence is that LESS people report. These systems are in place to protect perpetrators, not to empower survivors.

3. Perpetrators have a public face that belies their actions. They choose their victims based on who they believe they have power over and do things they believe they can get away with. They trust that the our social/cultural system will protect them. Think about all the Catholic priests who have harmed thousands of children–they were all respected members of their community even though they were serial abusers. Did you know? Did you guess?

I see a lot of people saying, “That sort of accusation harms this good man! How dare she say such a lie?” Just ask yourself: Why are you more inclined to believe that a perpetrator is innocent? Why do you give more value to the life and reputation of the accused than the accuser? Why is your automatic reaction to side with the perpetrator? We’ve been programmed to doubt survivors, and we must actively work against that. We must believe survivors, give them a chance to tell their stories and seek out justice instead of shunning them right out the gate.

It takes great courage to speak up, so please, believe survivors.

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